


The More Things Change (The More They Stay The Same)

by Elsian



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-10 04:20:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4376996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elsian/pseuds/Elsian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every few months, Thor leaves the tower, telling the Avengers he is going to spend time in Asgard with his people.<br/>Thor is lying</p>
            </blockquote>





	The More Things Change (The More They Stay The Same)

The Avengers do not know about this. It is his secret, his own little personal darkness, that thing that he keeps only for himself. They all have them, he knows this to be true, even the noble Captain America, and the enigmatic Tony Stark, who would have you believe everything he is and does is on display for the world to see. There is not one being, on this world or any other, that does not have their secrets, hidden and tucked away where no-one might see them.

If they knew his, they would surely be angry, disgusted with him, cast him out for his terrible weakness.

Or they would look at him with sad eyes, full of regret. Full of pity.

Thor can't quite decide which would be worse.

It's always astonishingly easy to sneak away. Thor simply tells them that he is to return to Asgard for a period of time, usually never more than a few days, to which there is generally little protest. Thor is always able to find out when he is needed, and will always return in time to help them save the day.

Occasionally, Nick Fury will ask him to delay his return for a few days. Thor will never deny these requests. Fury will never ask him without good reason. He has never known the man to do anything without reason. Sometimes, he wonders if it might do the man some good to simply do something for the mere sake of it, with no rhyme or reason behind it other than to enjoy himself. He keeps these thoughts firmly to himself, though.

Even the Mighty Thor is not that brave.

Sometimes Clint offers to drive him out to the secluded area from which he calls Heimdall, despite it being infinitely faster when he flies, and he's certain that the archer never expects him to actually take him up on the offer. He supposes that it is an attempt at the team-building that they are so often told is very necessary. His more cynical side (which whispers in his mind in a voice that is cruelly familiar) suspects that Clint does not trust him to go where he says he is going.  
Thor suspects that from his quiet corners and secluded perches, Hawkeye sees more than any of them.

He flies out of the city, away from the Avengers tower and over New Jersey where he drops down into a copse of trees, not particularly secluded or far from the road, but more than adequate for hiding a small box of clothes within a box that used to hold some kind of electrical circuitry before it was abandoned. He changes quickly, time against him, removing his heavy armour and weighty cloak, placing them within the large travel bag which contains his change of attire. 

He runs a hand over Mjolnir lovingly before placing it with the rest of his belongings, pulling out what Darcy had introduced to him as a 'beanie hat', tying his hair into a messy knot and pulling the knitwear over his head, before zipping up his coat and heading back out to the road, where the last coach back into New York is waiting.  
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He talks to no-one during the drive, and it is rare that anyone will talk to him. Once a young girl took her chances, sitting next to him for the hour long journey and pressing him for conversation once or twice. He admired her fortitude, but he brushed her off as gently as possible and left her at the station looking a little crest-fallen before making his way across the city.

He always walks from the coach station, and he has yet to be recognised, for all that the Avengers are plastered on every newspaper, poster and television programme going. Without his armour, without Mjolnir, people don't see him, don't give him the time of day. It was never this way on Asgard. His people never failed to recognise him, no matter where in the city he was. It's something of a relief. There's a lot to be said for anonymity.

The sun has set by the time Thor reaches the apartment building, smiling at the old man who holds the door for him as he approaches. Somehow, no matter what time or day he arrives, that same old man is there, coming or going and he always holds the door for Thor with an easy smile, tipping his hat as Thor passes with a nod. He nods to the guard at the desk, if he happens not to have his head in his newspaper, crossing the reception to the elevators, stepping in and pressing the button for floor nine. He is rarely accompanied. Out of his usual recognisable attire, his size, expected  
and admired of warriors in Asgard, makes mortals wary of him.  
Finally, after all of his deceptions and travels, Thor makes it to the door of apartment thirty-four, placing his hand on the door and pushing it open, knowing it will never be locked. Not on this day.  
He fills the small hallway, dropping his bag to the floor with a bang and a clatter, which was bound to happen no matter how carefully he places it down.

“Must you be so heavy-handed all the time?” A voice calls, echoing down the hall from the living room. “You'll put a dent in the floor.”

Thor chuckles, toes off his boots, hangs up his heavy coat and walks down the hall, the muffled sounds of the television becoming louder as he approaches the room. He walks around the end of the sofa, grinning at Loki, who is curled up on the opposite end of the sofa wearing black trackies and a shirt that must belong to Thor, judging by how it hangs off of one bony shoulder. He sips at whatever is in the mug he has in his hands, eyeing Thor.

“You're earlier than I expected you to be.” He says, watching as Thor falls down heavily next to him on the soft cushions. He puts a hand on Loki's bare foot. It's cold, and Loki's toes curl beneath his palm.

“Is that a problem?” He asks, softly. Loki considers him for a moment before he answers.

“No.”

Loki turns, shuffling along the sofa with his feet and bum, holding his cup out in front and slightly above him so as not to spill any of what Thor can now see to be hot chocolate, until he is pressed up against the other man's side, resting his head on Thor's shoulder. Thor chuckles, leaning back on the plush sofa and wrapping an arm around Loki's shoulders, thumb gently rubbing on the exposed skin the overly-large t-shirt provides.

“Wouldn't it have been easier to have just stood up?” he asks as Loki grabs the remote from the arm of the chair, flicking through the TV channels. He catches a brief glimpse of himself on Fox News before the channel changes once more.

“Probably, but I was too comfortable to get up.” Loki replies, finally settling on a film in black and white that Thor did not recognise. A man and a woman stood with a car at a cliff edge. It all seemed very intense and Thor supposed it was something very good if Loki had decided to leave it on. He'd gotten far more into Midgardian culture than Thor had managed to, despite their very alternate opinions on the people of the world.

They talk lightly, neither of them focused on the film. Thor suspects Loki has watched it before.

The conversation is vague and shallow. They discuss the weather, the meagre state of Midgardian feasts, the new pizza place that opened down the road from the apartment building, an exhibition that just opened at the Metropolitan. No-one else had been willing to go with Steve, and though he would have been content to go alone, Thor tagged along with Loki in mind. It seems to have worked, as Loki smiles up at him and asks him what he thought of the paintings and sculptures he'd saw. Thor idly wonders if Loki was there when he was, blending in with the mortals and looking at the art as though he hadn't killed thousands of them only two years previously.

The conversation comes to a halt as Steve becomes more apparent in the tale, and Loki simply nods and stands, taking his empty mug to apartment's small kitchen, squeezing Thor's knee as he stands. It was their agreement, made in silence but still binding. Thor will not ask of Loki's activities in the time they have been apart, and Loki returns the favour, asking nothing of the  
Avengers, or of Shield. Thor had not expected Loki to stick to this agreement they had, not made in words but in actions, but so far, Loki had yet not to hold to the deal, simply nodding and ceasing their conversation as soon as it becomes too much, turning down another route that cannot condemn them further than they have already condemned themselves.

Thor doesn't think the lack of information divulged would gain him any favours were his comrades to learn of the apartment, and his time with Loki, but it helps to ease the guilt that weighs heavier on his heart every time he leaves the building.

He can hear Loki clattering around in the kitchen. Quietly, he stands and moves to the kitchen door, watching as Loki reaches up to place his cleaned mug back into a cupboard. Thor would have simply left it until their final day, but Loki had always been more fastidious. He wonders what Loki's home looks like.  
He wonders if Loki even has one.

Loki twitches slightly as Thor wraps his arms around him from behind, leaning back into the embrace as he realises it is his not-brother, letting his head rest on Thor's wide shoulder.

“I wasn't aware you were capable of moving without sounding like a bilge-snipe.” He says, but it lacks the malice Thor has become so accustomed to, usually spat at him from the other side of a battlefield as war rages around them.

“I am more than capable of making my way quietly, as well you know, brother.” Thor replies, pressing his face into Loki's dark hair. It has grown longer, not quite reaching his mid-back, but it likely will have when they next see one another if he leaves it be. It smells faintly of lilies.  
Thor can remember when they used to go and pick bouquets of flowers when they were young, Thor dragging his little brother behind him, hand-in-hand as they searched. They took particular care to get plenty of lilies.

Frigga loved lilies.

Thor pressed his face further into Loki's shoulder, eyes scrunched closed as he pushed into the juncture between neck and shoulder, squeezing the other man's waist tighter, and Loki, being far from stupid, said nothing, allowing Thor to hold him and soothingly rubbing his hands over Thor's forearms until he was ready to let go again.

When the larger man's grip finally loosened, Loki turned in his arms, Thor's hand's settling on his waist as his thin hands cupped his cheeks, gently turning Thor to look at him. “How long do you have this time?” He asked, passing his thumb over the smooth skin above Thor's beard.

“I can spare a week, provided that there are no incidents that require my immediate departure.” Thor replies, smiling at Loki, who grins back, neither confirming nor denying anything, simply leaving in and pressing a gently kiss to Thor's lips.

“It's late.”

“It is.” Thor agrees, and they separate, heading to the bedroom and turning off the TV on their way there. The last scene Thor is the young woman from the cliff, dressed up in a beautiful gown, but the man is yelling and she flees back up the stairs behind her, throwing herself on the bed. The TV goes dark, and Thor turns to Loki who is holding the remote in his hand.

“She thought what she had done would make him happy.” Loki states, dropping the remote on the floor “But it only served to isolate her further amongst people she never really belonged with.”  
Thor wisely says nothing, and they continue into the bedroom.   
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They do not speak again until they are firmly in bed, lights off and the lights of the city peeking in through the thin crack in the curtains that neither of them can be bothered to get up and close now.  
Thor stares at the stippled ceiling, head resting on his arm. Getting to sleep the first night was always the most difficult.

Loki shuffles beside him, shifting under the sheets before finally turning over, watching Thor in the semi-darkness until he scoots himself closer, tucking himself under the waiting arm, resting his head against the other man and throwing a pale arm over Thor's stomach.

He still says nothing. Loki never speaks much during their time together, which Thor knows to be simply that he doesn't trust himself. Can't trust his mouth not to spill out bile and venom, breaking whatever this tentative thing is between them. He thinks the best word for it is a truce, but knowing he could easily face his brother on the battlefield one day, and return to his bed the following, 'truce' doesn't feel quite right. Perhaps there isn't a word for what they have, but what matters is it works for them.

For now.

Loki's eyes are closed, his breathing steady and he is most likely asleep, though those two things alone are not a guarantee. He tucks the lithe man into him more firmly, before closing his eyes and trying to demand sleep to come. It does not come quickly, but eventually he falls into slumber, and that's better than not sleeping at all.

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The sun has long risen by the time Thor wakes, but that doesn't matter. It's not like he has anywhere that he needs to go. He and Loki rarely leave the apartment, content to simply eat takeaway food and watch insipid programmes that Clint informed him are known as Reality Shows, and apparently Natasha adores, but vehemently deny with her fists if you dare to mention it. Thor doubts he would have woken at all, were it not for the not insignificant weight upon his chest. He opens one eye to glance at Loki, who is perched on Thor, atop the covers of the bed with his hands resting on the other man's chest.

“You are risen early.” Thor smiles, opening his other eye and bringing up a hand to cover a yawn.  
“I have always rose earlier than you, since we were children.” Loki retorts. He leans forwards, black hair slipping over his shoulders to curtain their faces. “You should get up. I want pancakes.”

“You could make them yourself.” Thor replies, pushing back the hair from the left side of Loki's face, before twisting his hand into his locks and pulling him down to him for a gentle pressing of lips.

“Now why would I do that, when I have you here to make them for me?” Loki smirks, but leans in and kisses Thor again anyway, deeply, then pulling back with a light peck to the corner of his mouth. Thor chuckled before he gripped Loki's legs and rolled them so that the other man was beneath him. Loki tutted, rolling his eyes at the display.

“You always said that I am terrible at cooking, is this you retracting that statement?” Thor asked  
with a grin. He rolled his hips against Loki's, able to feel the other's arousal growing just as surely as his own. Loki closed his eyes for moment, biting his lip before he responded.

“Not at all. Bad food is simply better than no food at all.”

It was Thor's turn to roll his eyes, slipping a hand under the oversized shirt Loki still wore from the night before as he did so, resting his hand on the quivering muscle.

“Would it kill you to say something nice, just for once in your life?” He jokes, but there is little humour behind it. He kneels back as Loki sits up, fumbling with the edge of Thor's shirt, encouraing it up and over his head before removing his own, and they lay back in the bed, chest- to-chest as Thor sucks small bruises into his collarbone.

“You know.” Loki says, between little gasps that Thor can never quite get enough of, working his hands into Thor's sleep-knotted hair. “I think that it just might.”

“Is sincerity really such a burden?” Thor pulls at the rim of Loki's tracksuit bottoms, encouraging them down until Loki huffs and pushes him away, removing them himself so he lies beneath Thor, unabashedly naked as he narrows his eyes at the other man, moving his hands to rest above his head, hair fanned out beneath him. Thor would liken it to a dark halo, not that he would ever say it out loud. Loki would almost certainly mock him for centuries to come.

“I do not know, brother.” Loki licks his lips, not taking his eyes off of Thor. “You tell me.”

Thor pauses, thinking of the people of Midgard that he protects, Jane, of the Avengers and of Odin, restored to his throne following Loki's deception. How they all believe him to be elsewhere, when in fact he is here, with Loki beneath him, looking up at his still lover with a frown.

“Yes. It is.”

Loki does not reply after that, instead reaching up and drawing Thor to him, claiming his mouth as he moves his hands over Thor's chest, dipping down into his boxers to wrap his hand firmly around Thor's cock, sliding over the firm flesh a few times before letting go and encouraging Thor's underwear down until he kicks them off, pressing himself fully against Loki before angling so their cock's slide together in just the right way, legs tangled and Loki's arm's holding onto him tightly, as thought Thor might vanish at any given moment.

They rut into each other with increasing desperation, Thor gathering Loki into him and pressing his face into the juncture of his neck and shoulder, biting down harder than he probably should. Loki will chastise him for it later, but for now he pants into Thor's ear, little 'uh's escaping his throat now and then as his hands dance between tangling in golden locks and pressing white crescents into the skin of Thor's back with his nails.

He is almost too far gone, caught up in the rhythmic thrusting and his building pleasure, and nearly misses Loki's gasping “wait!” in his ear, and then Loki is pushing him back until he can look at him once more, red-cheeked and hair damp with sweat. For a terrible moment, Thor thinks something is wrong.

“What is it? Was I too rough? Was...” He pauses in his questioning when Loki presses one long finger to his lips, shaking his head.

“I just thought you might want to...” He gestures down with a nod of his head, and Thor understands immediately. They do not do this often, and his cock twitches at the thought.

“Only if it is what you want.” He replies slowly, because with Loki he is never quite sure what might be a test. He still holds himself above Loki, who rubs Thor's arms gently before nodding.

“It is.”

If it was a test, apparently he has passed.

Thor leans to the side, opening the bedside cabinet which contains this one item, a regular aluminium tube of lubrication, which had taken a surprising amount of time to acquire among the variety Midgard had to offer. Mortals had many faults and curiosities, but no-one could deny that they were rather creative.

Moving back, he places a hand on Loki's thigh, which trembles beneath his hand. He is not sure if it is the chill in the air of the room that has settled with their ceased movements, or simply anticipation. He is certain is is not fear. Loki may fear him in battle, outside of the apartment, but not here. Here is sacred, here is safe.

He moves his hand as Loki draws his legs up, spreading them as Thor puts a generous amount of lube on his fingers that Loki would undoubtedly think is too much. He can see it in his eyes when he looks at him, but he shrugs and smiles apologetically, and Loki rolls his eyes and says nothing.

Thor prepares Loki quickly, perhaps too quickly, but he is still painfully hard, having come down from the precipice of orgasm in an instant, and he is eager to achieve pleasure. He suspects he shall not last for long, but judging from how Loki writhes and pushes himself back on Thor's fingers, neither shall he. Thor scissors his fingers inside Loki, almost entranced as Loki grips at his cock, though whether it is to enhance his pleasure or stave it off, Thor cannot tell. Finally, Loki urges him away, and Thor nearly sags with relief.

“I'm ready, I'm ready.” Loki gasps, pushing Thor's chest away with one hand and holding his neck and pulling him forward with the other, so that Thor has to take his hands in his and hold him still for a few moments so that he calms.

“Hush.” he soothes. “There is no need to rush. We have all the time in the world.”

Just because Thor had never been as prone to lying as his brother, did not mean he was not just as good at it when he wanted to be.

He presses his cock against Loki's entrance, waiting until Loki relaxes before he pushes inside, settling fully inside and staying still until the other man signals that he is ready for more with a gentle squeeze of his thighs at Thor's waist, arms coming up to hold at his back once more. Thor moves slowly, Loki is hot and tight around him, and he can feel himself approaching the edge swiftly once more, as much as he would like to make it last. It has been a long time thought, and Loki does not seem to be faring much better.

“Thor.” He murmurs “Touch me, please.”

Thor obliges, reaching down and wrapping his fist around Loki's erection, keeping his strokes in time with his slow, deep movements into Loki's body, so very different from their previous fierce rutting, but no less passionate. Beneath him, Loki's body stiffens, arching into Thor as he grips at his back, pressing his face into Thor's shoulder and biting to stifle his cry as he comes over Thor's fist. He clenches as he comes, and Thor gasps at the pressure, thrusting hard into him before he follows him over the edge, holding the other man tightly to his body until he feels Loki jabbing at his shoulder with a sharp fingernail, trying to get him to move.

He rolls to the side, and Loki turns on his, leaning on one arm to look at Thor. Thor smiles, closing his eyes and chuckling.

“If it would only be that I could wake so pleasantly every morning.”

Loki narrows his eyes at him for a moment, before sighing and settling down against the pillow himself.

“Maybe in another life, brother.”  
“Yes, maybe.”

Thor draws Loki to him, holding him for a half hour longer before Loki's need to cleanse himself overpowers the desire to stay in bed, and he leaves the room, retrieving his large shirt on his way to the bathroom. Thor remains where he is a while, listening to the sounds of the shower as Loki bathes before he drags himself out of bed, putting his sleeping clothes back on. He has no plans to leave the apartment this day and there is no-one here he needs to impress.

When Loki enters the kitchen, wearing only his t-shirt and towelling his hair dry, Thor is making pancakes.

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The week passes quickly. Too quickly. Thor must leave tomorrow and he feels like his time is slipping away faster than ever. They have not left each others sides for more than a few moments, only having left the apartment to go and collect from their favourite Chinese takeaway 'Joy Garden', which serves the best chicken noodle soup in the city, but doesn't do home-delivery. The rest of their time was spent in bed, light conversation or usually in companionable silence as they are now, Loki settled between Thor's legs on the sofa, reading a book whilst Thor flicks through the television channels idly, unable to find something to captivate his interest despite the multitude of stations at his disposal. 

Natasha and Tony had complained of this affliction once, and Thor had wondered at them, how they could have over a thousand different outlets of entertainment in one box and not be able to find a single one of interest. He had never thought to find himself in such a dilemma, and yet here it was. 

He sighed, leaving one of the many news channels on and placed the remote down, wrapping his free arm around Loki and squeezing gently, who returned the gesture with a squeeze of his own to Thor's arm, before placing his book down on his lap, turning his torso so he could see the larger man more clearly.

“You are restless.” he stated.

“I am perfectly well.” Thor retorts. He presses his face into Loki's hair, breathing in as he does so. He can feel Loki sigh more than he hears it, closing his eyes as the other traces meaningless patterns on the backs of his hands.

There is a long silence, but it is no longer comfortable. Loki feels more tense, and Thor wonders if this is it, when it finally all comes crashing down around them.

“Doom believes he has found a way into the Avengers tower.” Loki says, finally. Thor lifts his head from Loki's hair, and Loki turns further in his arms that he may see him, resting his legs over Thor's right so that he is more or less sat in his lap. Thor frowns, but Loki continues.

“There is a series of tunnels underneath the city, that separate off from the sewers. He has not forced his way through as of yet, but he will soon, and he believes the tunnel that he is uncovering runs directly beneath the tower. I have not fully investigated it myself, but from the brief knowledge I have, I believe him to be correct.” Loki is perfunctory with the statement, as though he was simply informing Thor of a change in the weather, and Thor gapes at him, confusion evident on his face.

“Why are you telling me this?” He says eventually. There are probably better questions he could  
ask, but he cannot think of a single one at this precise moment.

Loki laughs, and shakes his head.

“I do not rightly know.”

 

“Yes you do.” Thor isn't stupid. Loki never does anything without a reason For all his denial of kinship, Loki is far more like Odin than he will ever admit.

Loki considers Thor for a while, obviously calculating exactly how he is going to answer. He is silent a long time, and Thor wonders if he might even get the truth.

“He knows. Doom knows.” Loki says, voice low as though the man might be in the next room listening. “He knows about the apartment, he knows that I have someone. I do not think he knows who, but he certainly suspects.”

“If Doom was here, then he most certainly has someone watching the build....” Thor stops, suddenly realising something. “Loki?”

“Yes?”

“Why was he here?” Thor cups Loki's face, running his thumb along his cheekbone. “When was the last time you left here?”

“You always were smarter than everyone gave you credit for.” Loki replies, deliberately avoiding the question. Thor takes the bait anyway, he can push later.

“Is that a compliment I hear?” He grins, leaning in to press his forehead to the others. Loki snorts, but does not pull away.

“It's not difficult to be smarter than general opinion when everyone presumes you to have the brains of a goat.” he retorts, but there is little malice behind it. (There is still some. Thor doubts that Loki will ever entirely get over his jealously of their youth, just as Thor will never be quite over his guilt.)

“So.” Thor is gentle as he speaks, knowing it could all so easily fall apart now, but they've brought the outside world in, and there is no turning back. It could only last so long, after all. “How long have you been here?”

Loki hesitates, unsure of himself for the first time Thor has known in years.

“I haven't travelled far from the apartment since the last time we were here together.”

Almost five months ago. If he was honest with himself, Thor had seen the signs from the moment he'd arrived. The fridge and cupboards were fully stocked, the rubbish bin half-full and there were too many books dotted around the apartment. The sheets had smelt comfortably like Loki the first night he had arrived, despite knowing they had been washed the last day that he'd left before, and there were three coats hanging by the door where there had previously only been one.

“How did he find you? You are more than capable of making yourself scarce when you want to.”  
Loki laughed suddenly, knocking his book to the floor.

“This is the part that is most amusing. All my care and attention for naught, simply because one of his lowly henchmen happened to be in the Joy Garden at the same time as I did, and evidently he followed me down the street on my way home. Of course, I didn't know until Doom was on the  
doorstep, and it was far too late by then.” he laughed to himself, but there was no humour in it. “I have become negligent in my time on this world.”

“Does he know I am here now?” Thor asked, suddenly rather afraid of Loki's next answer. It was larger relief than it should be when Loki shook his head, black locks shaking as he did so.

“There are three of his men watching the apartment. One on the roof directly opposite this room, one has taken one of the empty apartments four floors below our own, and there is one stationed in the block across the street. As far as they are concerned, I have been alone all week, reading and cooking. All that can be seen through the window right now is myself on this sofa, still reading the book that is currently on the floor.”

Thor wraps his arms around Loki's waist, pulling him into his embrace, which Loki allows, though he does not return it.

“Why now?” Thor isn't sure if he is pushing his luck, but Loki started this, and he needs to know.

“I am just so very tired, Thor.” Loki responds, and Thor can feel him sag in his arms with the confession. “I'm so very tired of it all, and for the time being, I am content to remain here, in this apartment. No Doom, no Avengers, no Odin and no Asgard.”

Thor feels as though he should be elated. He has been wanting this, waiting for it for such a very long time, but it doesn't feel like the victory that it should be.

“You can always come with me.” he replies, to which Loki snorts.

“I could tell you one thousand reasons why that would not work, brother, and yet I would still not be done when I came to the end.”

“I could protect you. I would protect you.” Thor insists.

“From whom exactly? Doom? Odin? Your Avengers?” Loki fixes him with a look that Thor had learned long ago meant Loki thought he was being very stupid. “I can tell you which of those I fear the most, and I do not think you would like the answer.”

“No, I do not suppose I would.” Thor sighs, settling back on the sofa once more. “Why did you tell me this, if it is to change nothing?”

“You asked if I had not left the apartment, I never said that I was unhappy with this fact.” Loki sat up again, and Thor could hear the bite in his words. “As for the information about Doom, well if that changes nothing, that is not my business. I thought you would appreciate the opportunity to protect your precious tower from attack.”

“Please do not let us fight, not now.” Thor places his hand on Loki's neck, a comforting gesture he has used since their childhood, though comforting to who, he was never quite sure. Loki stares at him for a few moments before sliding from his lap and standing, not looking at him.

“I am going to bed.”

With that, Loki stalks from the living room into their bedroom. A few moments later Thor can hear him bashing draws around unnecessarily as he readies himself for bed before the bathroom door slams shut, and Thor is left sat on the sofa wondering what exactly just happened.  
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Loki is asleep when Thor finally makes his way to bed, or at least appears to be. Thor moves  
around the room quietly, divesting himself of the jeans and t-shirt he wore that day and slipping into the bed besides Loki, who has his back to Thor, facing the wall. Thor turns similarly on his side, staring at the cheap digital clock that seems to taunt him of his impending departure with every minute that passes.

Briefly, he wonders if he could stretch it to just one more day. It would be easily explained away as he has just wanted to spend more time in his own realm.

He discards the idea as quickly as it had came. He plans his stays for a reason, and he knows if he were to say just one more day, it would quickly become just another, and another, and he would never be able to make himself leave. He needs the routine.

The bed moves and Thor just manages not to jump out of his skin as Loki's arms wind around his waist, pressing his face into Thor's back, holding onto him tightly.

Loki's cheeks feel damp against his back. Thor rests his arm over Loki's and says nothing.

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Thor awakes alone on the last day, disappointed but not unsurprised to find that Loki has risen before him once more. He pulls on yesterdays clothes, not worrying about finding clean ones as these are going to sit in a bag in a box in the woods in New Jersey until he is able to find the time to return again without raising suspicion.

He briefly considers trying to convince Loki to come with him once more, but he has just over an hour before he must leave and he doesn't want to spend it arguing.

Entering the kitchen finds Loki at the counter in what looks to be another of Thor's t-shirts, cutting a sandwich in half and placing it in a bag along with an apple, a banana and a packet of pop-tarts.

There is a Thermos standing empty, but ready to be filled, and Thor's heart swells at the domesticity. Loki looks at him with a raised eyebrow as he folds down the top of the lunch bag and Thor grins at him.

“Don't say a word.” Loki says warningly, and Thor is not fool enough to disregard it. He steps forwards, taking Loki into his arms and kissing him deeply, taking the bag from his hands and placing it upon the counter as he pulls the other man further into him. Loki sighs into his mouth, before wrapping his arms around Thor's neck, opening his mouth and surrendering to the kiss.

“You really are so very irritating.” He complains as soon as they part, but still leans in and presses his lips to the corner of Thor's mouth.

“So you say, but you still keep coming back for more.” Thor smirks, placing his hands on Loki's waist and pressing their foreheads together. His grin drops, and he sighs, closing his eyes as Loki rests his hands on Thor's biceps.

“You will be here when I return?” Thor asks, voice low.

“Probably.” Loki's answer is always the same, and despite it being neither confirmation or denial, there is something comforting in that.

They eat breakfast, wash-up the dishes and watch a little TV, then before Thor knows it, he only has fifteen minutes before he must leave the house to be in time for his coach to New Jersey. His time here has passed as quickly as ever, feeling like mere moments since he arrived through the door, though he knows he could spend a year here and would still not feel ready when it came to be time to leave.  
He stands, stretching and walks towards the hall, leaving Loki with his book on the sofa. 

They never say goodbye, Thor just collects his things and leaves. It's less painful that way. Or Thor thinks so, at least. He pulls his bag onto his back, making sure to check that all of his armour is inside, along with Mjolnir, still wrapped up in his cape as he left her. As much as he wants to trust Loki, he always checks, just in case. He longs for the day when he no longer feels the need.

One hand on the door handle, he turns to glance down the hall one last time, only to find Loki stood observing him. Thor opens his mouth to ask something, but Loki steps into his space and pressed their mouths together before he is able to get out the words, and Thor wraps him in his arms, deepening the kiss and claiming his mouth roughly before they part, and Loki steps back again, wrapping his arms around himself and saying nothing. 

It's not goodbye, but its close and Thor thinks perhaps they're not all as painful has he had thought. He nods, opens the door and steps outside, closing the door on his secret once more.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
Thor makes his way to the station once more, where his coach is already waiting in its bay. To his surprise the young girl who had once sought his attentions sits waiting on the benches, and she smiles at him as he approaches, and give a small wave. He returns her greeting with a small smile of his own, and makes sure to put his bag on the free seat next to him once he has settled on the coach. She looks at him with disappointment, but says nothing and moves past him to sit at the back.

It is only as the driver is explaining the journey and the minuscule amount of safety precautions, most of which amount to wearing the seatbelts provided, that Thor realises he has forgotten the lunch that Loki prepared for him, still sat waiting in their kitchen with an empty Thermos.

He sighs, does up his seat-belt and settles in to his seat, staring out of the window as the coach begins the long drive back to New Jersey


End file.
